A few short weeks ago, my husband and I were blessed to become parents to a healthy and beautiful baby girl. It’s amazing the love that a parent feels for a child (and a child for a parent, for that matter). A mother and father will do anything they can to protect their little one. This made me think about the relationship I had with my Dad and how it impacted his journey with mesothelioma.
Dad and I had a very close relationship; I always knew that I could talk to him about anything. His kindness and amazing ability to give advice always amazed me. When he was diagnosed, we talked about the disease and what the next steps were. He talked about everything being in God’s hands and that we needed to put all our trust in Him. Once he was free of the disease, he told me that prior to this milestone, he felt awful. We discussed how his chemotherapy treatment made him feel – it seemed like we mulled everything over.
As difficult as it may seem, he even took the time to discuss his final wishes.
Now, I wonder if he was holding back to protect me. Did he really tell me everything, or did he keep a little in to keep me from worrying like I always do? Was he feeling as good as he said, or did he put on a braver face for my benefit? I guess these are questions that I will never know the answer to, but regardless, even if he did hold back, I know that it was done out of pure love.
I miss my Dad every single moment of the day, but I take comfort in knowing, and now understanding, the amount of love that he had for me and my family. I pray that I can be half the parent that he was… then, I’ll be doing pretty great.
Know more about Mesothelioma and how you can deal with it.