Author: Joseph Belluck
Nurses Make A Difference to Mesothelioma Patients
Nurses are an integral part to anyone’s recovery. During my father’s battle with mesothelioma, there were countless nurses on his medical team, cheering him on, taking care of him, and becoming his friends. They were each very special to me and my family, and we still appreciate all that they did to make my Dad feel like he mattered, and that he was being cared for by caring people.
When Dad had his pleurectomy at NYU Langone, there was a nurse’s aide named Doris. Dad enjoyed his time with her so much; I remember leaving the hospital when he was released back to the hotel and she wasn’t working at the time. We left a note on the white board in the room, thanking her and reiterating their inside joke once more, hoping that it would still be there when her next shift began.
Dad spent a fair amount of time in treatment facilities and hospitals, and he would always talk about the nurses as though they were his buddies. I know that they have an incredibly hard job that must wear them down at times. I just pray that my father was a bright light in their day, as they were in his.
On behalf of mesothelioma patients and their families, thank you for all you do. Your hard work and dedication do not go unnoticed.
Riding the Mesothelioma Roller Coaster
My family and I have been riding the so-called “mesothelioma roller-coaster” for over six years now. The ups and downs of this disease are never-ending and, even though my father has since passed away, they continue.
When my Dad was diagnosed, it was instant confusion followed by anger mixed with sadness, anxiety, and grief. Upon completion of surgery and chemotherapy, it was relief and happiness. I remember telling my husband after Dad got a report from the doctor that there was no evidence of disease, that I had thought that I would never be able to truly smile again. During the clinical trial, the good reports kept coming, and we shared so many happy memories in that time that I will always treasure.
When the news came that some mesothelioma had returned, it was back to square one, but in a different way this time. Now, we were educated, and it seemed like the sense of shock of what we were dealing with was muffled a bit. We knew what mesothelioma was this time, the prognosis, the implications of treatment, and so did our close friends and family members. After the radiation that followed, Dad was once again showing no evidence of disease. We thought that once he recovered from the effects of the treatment, he would be back to his old self again, just like before.
That was until the morning that he passed away. Less than an hour before he was gone, I spoke to my father who told me that he was feeling better and better. He told a friend he thought that he was turning a corner toward complete recovery. Ultimately, this was not to be. I don’t need to document the gamut of emotions that I felt that day, but I think it is important to realize that my emotions are still all over the place. The roller coaster ride continues.
Every day, I feel sadness and grief at the loss of the man who shaped me, but gratitude for his presence in my life. I feel joy and warmth thinking back on the memories we made while, at the same time, mourning those we didn’t get a chance to create. I laugh remembering his smile and sense of humor, while shedding tears in knowing that I don’t get to hear it anymore. The aftermath of mesothelioma is something that I will carry with me forever, but I will always keep on loving my father and remembering his beautiful life.
Family Members Want to Care for Their Loved Ones with Mesothelioma
For many different reasons, sometimes it’s hard to ask for help. You don’t know who to ask, you don’t want to impose, you’re embarrassed, or you don’t want to admit that you need the assistance. These can ring true for anyone, but I’ve found it to be quite prevalent in the mesothelioma community.
This group is made up of warriors! It’s a group of strong, resilient, and let’s face it… sometimes stubborn (and that’s not a bad thing!) people who are steadfast in their fight. They don’t want to make others feel as though they are putting them out, or be what they think is a burden on their loved ones. I am here to tell you, that no caregiver feels that way.
We are caregivers because we care and want to give anything we can to those we love. We are honored to support you in any way that you need. I know that there were times where my father hated asking me for things; I’m an adult, I lived three hours away, and I had “my own life.” Just because I am married with a business and a family doesn’t mean that he wasn’t still very much a part of that life. Things were added, but in no way was he subtracted.
I was so blessed to be there for my Dad during his surgery and recovery. I was able to be there to help during the clinical trial and visit multiple times during his radiation therapy when he was in NYC for weeks. I am blessed to have a life that allowed me to travel to be with my parents and make frequent trips back to my hometown. Dad also visited me at my home, and my husband and I loved doting on him, making him the king of the castle!
So, as Dad would say, “the moral of the story” is to never be afraid to ask your loved ones for help. Don’t push them away when all they want is to be pulled closer. You are loved by many, and those people are just waiting for a chance to help. God bless all caregivers and the ones they care for… in any capacity!
What Would Dad Think of the Mesothelioma Ups and Downs?
In the years that have passed since I lost my father to mesothelioma, I have often looked at events, not only in my life and immediate community, but also globally, and wondered, what would Dad think about this? Sometimes, they are lighthearted happenings, others, more sober topics; Dad was interested in most things and I loved hearing his opinions and simple wisdom applied to anything and everything.
If Dad were to look at the advocacy that his family continues with the mesothelioma community, I think he would be proud. His smile beaming, eyes sparkling, as they did any time someone did something that he thought was admirable and good. He was an advocate with us before he lost his fight, and I know that he was excited to continue on with his work; now it continues through those who love him.
If my father saw the success that some friends are having with their mesothelioma treatments, he would be ecstatic, praising God and congratulating them on their progress. To see the other side, however, the number of those who have since passed, his heart would be broken and he would be working to console their families.
Seeing the recent revelations about asbestos being used in children’s make up, I know that he would have been so sad. Dad loved children and the thought of a child being exposed to something so life-shattering would cause his heart great pain and sorrow. I’m sure that he would have had some strong feelings of how this should be handled.
I think about Dad every second of every day. Still, four years later, I find myself picking up the phone to call and tell him about something going on that I know would interest him. Even though he can’t pick up, I do take time to think about what his reaction would have been. This is a practice that keeps his memory alive in my heart, and I know that he smiles knowing that I’m still thinking about the wisdom he imparted on me and my family.
After Losing Father to Mesothelioma, Mother Finds It “Unspeakable” That Asbestos Is Found In Children’s Makeup
As a mother, I worry. I worry about my daughter’s first day of school; will she be nervous? I wonder what the world will be like for her as she grows and moves into adulthood. I wonder what she will decide to be when she grows up, who will she grow up to be? Something that I never considered worrying about until my father got sick was the danger of asbestos.
Sure, we know that asbestos is found in building products and things of that nature, but it being used in children’s crayons and makeup? It is completely unspeakable and inexcusable. Why would a company knowingly place our youth in danger, all for the sake of making a dollar?
Yes, I know that the products have been removed from the shelves, but who is to say that there aren’t more items like these still out there, let alone the damage that may have already been done? Thinking about what these children may end up going through because they colored a picture or played dress up makes me angry and sick to my stomach.
It’s time that we all stand up to the companies endangering society at large, especially those targeting our children. It is not okay to ignore the deadly implications of asbestos, enabling more and more of us to be put, unknowingly, at risk.
Take the time to look at ingredients of items you may use every day. If it’s questionable, put it back, call the company and demand answers. You owe it to yourself and to future generations to stop this cycle and help to eradicate the use of asbestos, and, in turn, mesothelioma.
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