Mesothelioma Help Cancer News
No Regrets for Family Who Lost Loved One to Mesothelioma
The natural human reaction to losing a loved one is to start asking “what if?” You start to have regrets. You wonder why you didn’t stay five more minutes during a visit, why you hung up that phone call, or what you could have done to protect the one you lost. Living with regret is something that can have a negative effect on every aspect of your life. Try to remember that someone that loved you would never want you to live with that awful feeling.
Life has a funny way about it. It keeps going on for some when it ends on earth for others. Dad had been diagnosed for one year and eight and a half months when he passed. One year and eight months to the day after his surgery. Looking back, I know that we did everything that we could to help him fight mesothelioma.
My parents traveled constantly for surgery, doctor appointments, a clinical trial, and radiation. They were so hopeful with every good result. We researched and read as much as we could about new treatment options, side effects, and others who were also battling this horrific disease.
Losing Dad was the most heartbreaking event of my life, but we can take comfort in knowing that we literally did everything that we could to give him the best quality of life possible while he was sick. Dad promised me that he would never give up, and he didn’t. He is an inspiration to me and I am so proud to have the opportunity to share his story with so many. His faith is what carried him through, and has allowed us to carry on knowing that we gave it our best. My prayer is that we may all find comfort in our journeys, no matter what they may be.
Mesothelioma Specialists Offer Best Care, According to Nurse Lisa Hyde-Barrett
After last week’s Thanksgiving holiday, I am going to write about being thankful. I am sure it does not take long for all of us to come up with a few reasons to be grateful. Of course, I am always thankful for my family, my friends, and my health. I recently had something happen to me that was not so pleasant, and I was on the other side of the fence. I was not the healthcare professional, I was the patient.
It gave me new insight into just how people must feel when they are dealing with a new medical condition. Most often, people feel out of control and uninformed when they or their loved ones are sick. Perhaps, even powerless. These feelings can be scary and overwhelming. But you don’t have to feel that way.
I work in a big facility that is a world renowned mesothelioma center. Oftentimes people make comments about how aggressive we are as a medical facility. Yes, we are aggressive. We are like other facilities around the United States that are vigilant in fighting this disease. We don’t give up easily, and we are in it for the fight.
There are so many mesothelioma patients who may not think about going to a specialist or they think their primary care physician can give them the best care. They are right, they will get good care. But they may not receive the newest, cutting-edge care specialists can offer who work with mesothelioma patients on a daily basis. When things are not going so well, patients can be thankful that this group of physicians nurses and scientists can brainstorm together.
I always tell patients who come to our facility that one thing is for sure – when you go home you will know that there was no stone left unturned. This group of professionals offers every bit of treatment they can possibly offer. Some journeys are long and stressful regardless of the care you receive. I just recently visited with a patient from three and one-half years ago. Yes, he does have mesothelioma, but he is up every day thanking his lucky stars that he has another day with his family. Of course, he has his aches and complaints, as we all do. Currently, he is receiving radiation and he has started to feel relief. I know every situation is different, and not all end up so favorably. I sure am grateful that I am associated with a top mesothelioma center that is aggressive and in it for the fight.
If you read this, please take yourself to a specialist who knows mesothelioma, and can possibly make a difference. I cannot tell you how many people I cared for that they were told to get their affairs in order, yet here they are living – three, five, even 10 years after their original diagnosis. One thing is for sure – this is your life and you deserve the best care. If you think I cannot travel because it is too expensive or you are too sick, there are avenues to help you. Just contact me and let me talk with you.
If you have questions about your mesothelioma treatment or any aspect of your mesothelioma care, feel free to contact us.
Moving On After Loss of a Father To Mesothelioma
Once I recovered from the initial shock of Dad’s death, my next question was “where do I go from here?” How do I move on from something like this? These are questions that I am still fighting to answer, and I’m not sure that I will ever know the correct response. All I can do is share my honest, daily struggle with you.
Every morning, I wake up wondering how I’m going to get through another day without Dad. Then, I spend some time talking to him, and that tends to make me feel a little better. As I go through my day, many things happen that I know he would love to hear about. I think that I need to pick up the phone and call him right away to share my story, but I can’t. They always say that old habits die hard. I have to learn to adjust to this new way of communicating with him. It’s sort of a one-sided conversation in that he doesn’t answer me with words, but I still feel like he hears me and responds in a different way.
I look around and notice that the world keeps moving on, but I’m not sure how. I see people going on with their normal lives and realize that mine will never be “normal” again. My normal was having a Dad who loved me unconditionally. It’s only been 22 days since he went to Heaven, but it feels like an eternity.
In short, at this point, I don’t know how to give any advice on moving on, because it’s not a place that I am at yet myself. I do know that by the grace of God, I’ll get there. Some days are better than others; I still have times when I break down completely, and that’s ok. Everyone grieves differently.
I have to remember that moving forward is nothing to feel guilty about because I will never forget my Dad – the way he sounded, his scent, and his abounding love for me and my family are things that will never fade from my memory. He took care of everything he left behind – even his estate through his final will. Dad would want us to be able to enjoy every day just as he did and take time each day to smile and pray.
I keep remembering the saying on my Dad’s coin that he always carried with him and try to take it to heart. I hope it can also bring you some comfort and hope. “Lord, help me to remember that nothing is going to happen to me today that you and I can’t handle together.”
Know more about Mesothelioma and how you can deal with it.
Planning for Thanksgiving Relieves Stress for Mesothelioma Patients
Thanksgiving is a time to reflect on all that we are grateful for, to enjoy festive times and to reconnect with our family and friends. However, for families dealing with mesothelioma, the holiday season can be a challenging and stressful time. Many patients may feel like forgetting the holidays while battling cancer, but planning for the days ahead can be healing for them and their family.
Patients and caregivers should communicate openly and honestly with each other about how they would like to handle the holidays. Although neither may be up to enjoying loud celebrations and large meals, they should still consider marking the special day. By talking out their feelings and needs, they will be better able to plan and communicate those plans with other family members and friends.
Consider lightening up around Thanksgiving and the holiday season by forgoing the extravagance of the season, and focusing on enriching relationships and relishing family time. Simpler, quiet times on Thanksgiving may be what is needed to eliminate the temptation to overdo it while still enjoying the holiday.
Realize that even though you may be surrounded by loved ones, you may still feel sad. Suzanne Phillips, Psy.D., ABPP, wrote in ‘Thankful But Not Happy,’ as you cope with your sickness or a loss over Thanksgiving, “Be gentle with yourself and leave room to embrace all of what you feel.”
“Holidays won’t end all pain and suffering but they can help us restore what we need- to look forward with hope,” Phillips added in ‘Finding the Healing Potential in Holidays.’
Know more about Mesothelioma and how you can deal with it.
Nurse Encourages Patients to Choose a Health Advocate
Recently, a close family member had a sudden serious illness requiring a prolonged hospitalization and a three and one-half weeks stay in the intensive care unit. During this sudden and unexpected illness, the importance of having a family member to advocate for him, explain what had been done and not done, and what tests had been performed was crucial. I have the distinct advantage of being an ICU nurse which helped the patient, and the other family members deal with his illness, all the questions and the roller coaster of emotions that goes along with an acute illness.
This made me think about mesothelioma patients and their families who often are treated with surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation. More than likely, at some point during the journey the patient will end up in the hospital, dealing with a host of experts and concerned family members. When this happens, it is important for the patient to ask someone to step up and advocate for them and to communicate his wishes and concerns to other parties.
One of the most important roles of an advocate is to capture all the medical information and to get all the facts. The best way to ensure correct, complete information is to get a notebook and write down questions, procedures and tests that have been performed. Keep a journal of what is going on and upcoming appointments. It is important to record the information in context of how it was said and in what sequence it was said. The drugs that are given to the patient can cause amnesia, and much of what a patient goes through will not be remembered. The detailed notes can bring peace of mind to the patient when they are reviewed and explained.
If you are a family member of a patient dealing with mesothelioma, remember to take care of yourself as well. It is not easy to see your loved one with tubes and undergoing painful procedures. Talk to someone about what you are going through, and trust the staff to take care of your loved one.
Remember, mesothelioma is a journey with bumps along the way, and it is a difficult time for everyone. Staying by your loved ones side can help ease the stress for him, and will also help the medical team by allowing them to focus on the patient’s care.
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