Category: Faces of Mesothelioma
Daughter Reflects on the Memories With Her Father Lost to Mesothelioma
A few short weeks ago, my husband and I were blessed to become parents to a healthy and beautiful baby girl. It’s amazing the love that a parent feels for a child (and a child for a parent, for that matter). A mother and father will do anything they can to protect their little one. This made me think about the relationship I had with my Dad and how it impacted his journey with mesothelioma.
Dad and I had a very close relationship; I always knew that I could talk to him about anything. His kindness and amazing ability to give advice always amazed me. When he was diagnosed, we talked about the disease and what the next steps were. He talked about everything being in God’s hands and that we needed to put all our trust in Him. Once he was free of the disease, he told me that prior to this milestone, he felt awful. We discussed how his chemotherapy treatment made him feel – it seemed like we mulled everything over.
As difficult as it may seem, he even took the time to discuss his final wishes.
Now, I wonder if he was holding back to protect me. Did he really tell me everything, or did he keep a little in to keep me from worrying like I always do? Was he feeling as good as he said, or did he put on a braver face for my benefit? I guess these are questions that I will never know the answer to, but regardless, even if he did hold back, I know that it was done out of pure love.
I miss my Dad every single moment of the day, but I take comfort in knowing, and now understanding, the amount of love that he had for me and my family. I pray that I can be half the parent that he was… then, I’ll be doing pretty great.
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Gift Suggestions for Mesothelioma Patients
What do you get for the person who has everything? This is a common question, usually displayed in stores and commercials during the Christmas season. Some people ask the question in a different way: What do you get for the person who has mesothelioma?
This can be answered in a lot of different ways and it could depend on what they have going on in their lives as well. For someone who is currently undergoing chemotherapy or radiation treatments, it might be nice to give them a basket of foods that are easy on their stomach. Or maybe movies, books, or magazines to occupy them during their treatments, and while they are at home recuperating.
For someone who travels a lot for appointments, etc., maybe think of a nice travel bag or something to keep them busy during the trip. Comfortable clothing might also be something that they would enjoy. Religious gifts like prayer books or inspirational stories could also be a good idea. Homemade gifts are always wonderful and can become treasured keepsakes for years to come.
Whatever you decide, remember that your loved one is still the same person that they were before they were diagnosed. Even if you purchase some items that I suggested, remember the real person underneath the mesothelioma. Cater your gift to what they enjoy, not to the disease itself. If in doubt, you can always ask the mesothelioma warrior themselves what they would like, or talk to a close family member about it! They are sure to have some useful yet thoughtful ideas to share. Happy shopping!
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Holiday Season Is a Time of Hope for Mesothelioma Community
With the holiday season upon us, it is a bittersweet time for many people in the mesothelioma community. Having lived as a part of this community for almost three years now, I have experienced every holiday with my Dad having this disease and every holiday without my father since his passing in October 2013.
I remember the difference in my Dad between Christmas 2011 and Christmas 2012. In 2011, he was very sick, but had not yet been diagnosed. We were in a state of flux, waiting to hear what the next steps would be to help him. He was having a lot of trouble breathing, losing weight quickly, and was completely exhausted all the time. The sparkle in his eyes that was sort of his trademark wasn’t there anymore, and his happy-go-lucky attitude had given way to doing his best to make it through another day.
As we opened our gifts and shared our time with family, I remember wondering to myself if this might be the last Christmas I would have with him. Even not knowing what was wrong, I knew that he was just going through the motions to try to keep everyone happy; that was not him at all. The following month, Dad was diagnosed and we were sent on a whirlwind ride throughout 2012.
Christmas that year was completely different. Dad was back to being himself again. He felt great, even taking some time to ride his new exercise bike that was given to him for a gift. He was Mr. Social, taking charge of getting the table ready for dinner, laughing and talking with everyone, and enjoying every single second. It was as though he had a new lease on life. I never expected that this would, in fact, be his last Christmas. Even so, it was a beautiful one that I will treasure forever.
No matter what the situation, dealing with an illness for yourself or your loved ones is difficult. The holidays seem to make it even harder for some reason. Last year, our first Christmas without Dad, was bittersweet. We did our best to carry on our traditions just like he would have wanted. It was his favorite time of the year, and we knew that the best way to honor his memory was to smile through the pain and enjoy the time we had with those who were here.
This time of year is a time of hope. Hold onto that hope and believe that miracles do happen every day; many times, we just don’t see them until later! Make every moment count and enjoy this season with your loved ones. God bless you and your families!
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There is No Good Time for Mesothelioma
John Lennon is quoted as saying, “Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.” No matter how precisely you have things planned out in your mind, God’s plan takes over. Perhaps the quote, “If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans” is more fitting here. I guess that in reality, you have to let go of any control you think you might have and look at the life around you happening right now.
No matter what, there is no “good time” to get mesothelioma. It doesn’t matter what’s happening in your life at the moment, everything changes so that you can take care of yourself or your loved one. Vacations are cancelled, work schedules shift, plans with friends are the last thing on your mind. It has to be that way because health priorities take over.
Oftentimes, when someone is faced with adversity of any kind, they wonder “why now?” The answer to this question will always elude us. We have no way of knowing why things happen the way that they do. We just have to do our best to accept the challenges ahead of us and realize what is really important in life.
During my father’s fight with mesothelioma, he always told us not to change our plans and to have fun doing whatever would make us happiest. The truth is, the thing that we were the happiest doing was spending time with him. No matter if that meant going out and doing things when he was feeling his best, or taking care of him at his worst, being together was so special to us that it didn’t matter. There was no place we would have rather been than by his side.
Try not to get discouraged if you’re having trouble juggling personal obligations and interests with taking care of your loved one. Pray about it and it will all come together. Also, if you’re the patient, remember that your family loves you and only wants the best for you. They want to be there for you anyway that they can.
Life is a balancing act; luckily, we don’t have to go through it alone. God bless you.
Advocate for Mesothelioma Research During Lung Cancer Awareness Month
November is lung cancer awareness month, a great time to reflect and work on new ways to spread the message about mesothelioma prevention, lack of funding, and advocacy. Keep in mind that many people do not realize that mesothelioma is a form of lung cancer, so the general public may be surprised (just like I was) to learn this devastating fact.
Look for events in your community that you can participate in. Check with local hospitals and doctor’s offices about what they are doing to recognize this month. If they need some help, volunteer to assist them with existing programs, or even ask if you can implement one of your own! If time constraints are too tight this year, start working on something for 2015!
Holding a fundraiser during this month of awareness would tie the message together. It would get the word out about mesothelioma and how much help is needed to work towards better treatments and an eventual cure, as well as raise money for an excellent cause.
This month may also be a great time to put on your advocacy hat and petition your local, state, and national government about laws concerning asbestos and regulations concerning mesothelioma. Get as many people involved as you can and make your presence known; send letters, make phone calls. With this month being recognized, it should be brought to the forefront of the minds of those who can help to put new programs into action.
Remember that any bit of awareness that you can bring to lung cancer and mesothelioma victims, warriors, and their families will make a difference. Reach out and remember our end goal of eradicating this awful disease forever!
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Free Mesothelioma Patient & Treatment Guide
We’d like to offer you our in-depth guide, “A Patient’s Guide to Mesothelioma,” absolutely free of charge.
It contains a wealth of information and resources to help you better understand the condition, choose (and afford) appropriate treatment, and exercise your legal right to compensation.
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