Category: Mesothelioma
Mesothelioma Advocates are Critical for Helping to Find a Cure
I have said numerous times that I had no idea what mesothelioma was until after my Dad was diagnosed. And, really, if you have no reason to know, why would you? Mesothelioma is always shown in commercials, with people offering some sort of legal advice. The word might be out there, but in no way does that explain what it is, how there is no cure, and what causes it.
Mesothelioma might be considered one of the lesser known diseases of our time. Even so, those impacted by its grasp find that they can never get away from it. With the cure not being found as of yet, loved ones of those who have or have had meso find themselves in constant fear of asbestos, myself included. We try to educate others of the dangers of this material and provide as much information as possible, but it still feels like people aren’t really listening.
Funding for mesothelioma research and education is critical. We must not only educate the general public about this form of cancer, but also work constantly to raise money that goes toward research so that we can, someday very soon, find a cure.
With people not being overly familiar with mesothelioma, it is sometimes tough to fundraise. People might not want to contribute to a cause that they know nothing about. When you are working on a fundraiser, be sure to offer literature that your patrons can look at. If your event is in honor or in memory of someone, talk about them and their life and how it was changed by this disease.
Having lived through my Dad’s journey with mesothelioma makes me want to work even harder to raise funds for organizations that work towards eradicating this disease. Dad underwent a heartbreaking diagnosis, surgery, chemotherapy, a clinical trial, and radiation before he passed away on October 15, 2013. The time between his diagnosis and passing was almost 21 months. That period was the most challenging of his life and the lives of our family.
Even though my Dad is now in Heaven, I will continue to work to raise awareness and funds for mesothelioma research, and I hope that you will join me. My prayer is that together, we can save lives through education and treatments, and finding new leaders who are committed to ultimately find a cure for mesothelioma.
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My Memories of Dad Will Last a Lifetime
I have had a number of people tell me, “Don’t worry, you’ll never forget your Dad.” People have also said, “It’s hard, but try not to forget.” Right after Dad passed, forgetting any little thing was my biggest concern. Now, I realize I don’t have to worry about it, that Dad is always with me in some way.
Once I got over the initial shock of Dad’s passing, I realized that there is no way I will ever forget my Dad. We may not clearly remember loved ones we lost when we were young, but I was 30 when I lost Dad – plenty old enough to have stored up memories to last me a lifetime.
A lot of people go through this fear, and I honestly think that it’s perfectly natural. You want to hang on to every moment that you spent with the person you lost, not forgetting a single detail. You want the young, maybe even unborn, members of your family to know them like you did. The good news is that they can… through you!
To me, carrying on someone’s memory is a special gift that you can share with others. They don’t just have to be children, even an adult who didn’t know your loved one could benefit from hearing stories, seeing pictures, or watching home movies of someone who was special to you.
I think of my Dad every single day, and I know that’s something that will never go away. I talk to him a lot, telling him about what’s going on in my life, joys and sorrows, triumphs and failures, just like I would have if he were still here. I know that he’s up in Heaven interceding for me. It’s hard to look at it this way at first, but realizing that you now have a special angel up there is a pretty awesome thing!
Carrying someone with you and passing on their memories can be a lot of work, but it’s something so worth it. Talking about your loved one will come to bring you joy and comfort after a while and can bring you a feeling of being close to them. Your relationship with your loved one is unique and special, carry it with you always!
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Mesothelioma Family Starts Off 2014 Refreshed and Hopeful
Amanda continues to reflect back on the last year and recent months as her father fights mesothelioma. He went through surgery and chemotherapy last year, and as 2013 came to a close and the New Year began the family was settling into a comfortable routine.
The holidays were over and things were looking up for 2014. It felt great starting off the New Year refreshed and positive. As a family, we were feeling positive and were happy with how things were going for Dad at the moment, even though in the back of our minds we knew that anything could happen. By this point we had learned to live for and appreciate the small things and the good days. I said it, as did many other people that had bad luck in 2013, “It’s only up from here.” So it was not just my family having a difficult year, but we were all starting the year off with a positive outlook.
January 2014 was a cold and snowy month. Dad went back to work and was still fairing well. His next appointment in Philadelphia would be in March for a CAT scan and to start immunotherapy to continue fighting the small amount of cancer that was left in his chest. In the meantime, Dad would visit our family doctor for checkups and to monitor his health. We were very excited that Dad had the option of immunotherapy because of all the good things that we had heard about it and the fact that it would be much easier on him than other treatments.
With the brutal weather of snowstorms once a week, frigid temperatures, and icy roads and sidewalks, it made getting around more difficult and of course more dangerous. Everyone knows at this point that nothing stops Dad, and even on nights that the roads were a mess, he still made his hour drive into North Jersey to work. Of course my mom would worry about him.
During the months that Dad was in the hospital and at home recovering, my mom became very close with Dad’s secretary, Claudia. She would check in once in a while to see how things were going. She is a very caring person and has done some nice things for my family. When Dad went back to work she threw a welcome back party for him, totally surprising him and lifting his spirits. Throughout the winter she would text my mom when my dad arrived safely at work, times that he was very tired, and nights that she saw things that concerned her. This kept my mom at ease knowing that Claudia could keep a close eye on Dad.
Throughout the winter there were not as many jobs to be done at my parent’s house, only clearing the driveway after a bad storm or bringing in firewood to keep the house toasty warm. Andrew and my Mom were a huge help to Dad for these jobs, but of course my dad couldn’t just sit back and watch. He would be right out there with them pushing the snow blower up and down the driveway, huffing and puffing and having to take many breaks. He even had a few falls on the slippery driveway making us very nervous.
One fall he had was when he was walking the garbage cans to the end of the driveway on trash day. He slipped on a patch of ice and fell flat on his back, knocking the wind out of himself. He landed on the metal trashcan first and then onto the cold, hard driveway. He said he laid there for a while and caught his breath. After that he was very sore. This wasn’t the only time he fell he told us. He was at work and fell in the parking lot on ice and he had to do the same thing: lie there and catch his breath.
These falls had made us very nervous, because of landing on his back and how fragile his lungs now were. He is also on Coumadin, a blood thinner, and there could be complications because of it. The family doctor did check him out and everything was okay despite the fact he was very sore. Even though things were looking up for Dad, we still had to keep a close eye on him, especially because he never complains of anything.
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Daughter Says to Celebrate Easter, Enjoy Memories
A few months ago, I wrote about the empty chair that would be present at Christmas. This continues every day, but with Easter it will be even more challenging. Every time my family is all together, it makes it increasingly difficult to realize that everyone is there except for Dad, the most exuberant and joyous of us all.
Dad loved get-togethers, always doing his best to prolong them and always asking, “What’s your hurry?” when someone said they were going to head home. He really enjoyed Easter will all the food, candy, and Church services.
For years, Dad would wake up before dawn and head to a sunrise service. He would come home and watch me open my Easter basket when I was little before we would all head off to church to celebrate the real meaning of the holiday. Then, it would be time for dinner – this was one of the highlights of the day for Dad since he loved to eat!
After dinner, we would go home and usually try to spend some time outside, weather permitting. Then it was time to get ready to go to the Easter play. Dad always had a big part in both the Christmas and Easter programs, but he never knew his lines! He would come up with creative ways to help the situation like hiding his script in his shirt sleeve or writing lines on his hand. The best part was when he would sing. I was always so proud of him, but when he sang it usually brought me to tears.
There are special memories made every day, but perhaps the holidays bring out the best of them. Having family and those special to you all together lends itself to sentimental moments, laughter, and stories that will last a lifetime.
As we celebrate Easter, remember that the reason for this season is that Jesus died for each one of us. Thank him for that and hold your loved ones close. From my family to yours, have a blessed Easter!
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Coping to Changes After Death of a Loved One to Mesothelioma
When you lose someone you love, everything about life as you know it changes. I never have dealt well with or been fond of change, and this kind rocks me to my core. When Dad passed away, the home that I grew up in that was always so full of love and laughter, became four walls that encased the memory of the man who made that house a home. Dad built the house with hammer and nails, but also built it into a home with his unconditional love for my Mom and me.
The guitar that Dad used to produce beautiful music that brought joy to so many now sits in the corner, just a stationery object. The yellow coffee cup Dad always drank from hides in the back of the cupboard. Never again will it be found left outside, in the garage, or any of the various places that it traveled on its’ adventures with Dad.
These inanimate objects seem to have lost their “personality” – I must say that sometimes, I feel the same way. The biggest change of my life was losing my father. I know that a part of me left with him that day, but a part of him remained here in its place. The part of me that would have been wracked with so much grief that I couldn’t function, was replaced by the part of him who knew that I needed to try to be strong to help the rest of my family. The part of me who would never have felt like it was alright to laugh again was exchanged for his good-natured, laid back spirit, allowing me to smile at our memories.
I won’t say for one second that I have been brave or courageous throughout this experience; that would be a lie. That being said, looking back on these past five months, I know that Dad is with me, helping to guide me through. Other than losing Dad and attempting to somehow adjust to this new way of life, the biggest change has been the one within myself.
I have realized that it is possible to be strong but caring, sad but joyful, and broken but whole at the same time. These conflicting emotions don’t make sense, but it is possible; I’ve lived it. These are the parts of me and my Dad that have melted into one. Emulating his amazing personality and generosity is a tall order, but one that I intend to reach for. Even the most negative change can spark a positive one.
Dad took care of everything, not just his estate but all the memories that he will leave behind.
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Free Mesothelioma Patient & Treatment Guide
We’d like to offer you our in-depth guide, “A Patient’s Guide to Mesothelioma,” absolutely free of charge.
It contains a wealth of information and resources to help you better understand the condition, choose (and afford) appropriate treatment, and exercise your legal right to compensation.
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