Mesothelioma Help Cancer News
Dealing with Anxiety After a Diagnosis of Mesothelioma
This week a patient, I will call George, presented with a situation that caused me to reflect on the role of anxiety in dealing with mesothelioma – a life-threatening illness. George is 65-years-old, a successful businessman three weeks away from his planned retirement. He had been planning for his retirement and had travel plans, had a vacation home and was focusing on the start of a new life. He had always been in good physical health, until a bout of pneumonia and a cough had him facing a possible mesothelioma diagnosis.
George prided himself on being in control of his life, finances, relationships, and health. When faced with the fight of his life, George was paralyzed with anxiety. George had always suffered with an anxiety disorder, but he was able to control it by ordering his life. As this proud man told me through his tears, the medication does not stop the racing in his mind about the tests and procedures in which he has no control. The medication might slow his body down but not his mind. His psychiatrist had retired; he had tried another one but could not relate to him.
Everyone experiences anxiety at different times. It is a normal human emotion. Anxiety disorders are different. When worry and fear interfere with a person’s ability to lead a normal life it could be an anxiety disorder. Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S. affecting approximately 18% of adults.
There are no easy answers for a person suffering with a possible life-threatening illness and dealing with an anxiety disorder. One of the suggestions I did make to George was to look into stress-reducing techniques such as yoga or meditation. There is also a book on the New York Times best seller list, “10% Happier: How I Tamed the Voice in My Head,” by Dan Harris, that might help George and others dealing with anxiety. George was grateful for the suggestion, but I think he was more grateful that someone listened to him and understand that although he cannot control his diagnosis there is still a chance for some peace in his mind.
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Mesothelioma Family Starts Off 2014 Refreshed and Hopeful
Amanda continues to reflect back on the last year and recent months as her father fights mesothelioma. He went through surgery and chemotherapy last year, and as 2013 came to a close and the New Year began the family was settling into a comfortable routine.
The holidays were over and things were looking up for 2014. It felt great starting off the New Year refreshed and positive. As a family, we were feeling positive and were happy with how things were going for Dad at the moment, even though in the back of our minds we knew that anything could happen. By this point we had learned to live for and appreciate the small things and the good days. I said it, as did many other people that had bad luck in 2013, “It’s only up from here.” So it was not just my family having a difficult year, but we were all starting the year off with a positive outlook.
January 2014 was a cold and snowy month. Dad went back to work and was still fairing well. His next appointment in Philadelphia would be in March for a CAT scan and to start immunotherapy to continue fighting the small amount of cancer that was left in his chest. In the meantime, Dad would visit our family doctor for checkups and to monitor his health. We were very excited that Dad had the option of immunotherapy because of all the good things that we had heard about it and the fact that it would be much easier on him than other treatments.
With the brutal weather of snowstorms once a week, frigid temperatures, and icy roads and sidewalks, it made getting around more difficult and of course more dangerous. Everyone knows at this point that nothing stops Dad, and even on nights that the roads were a mess, he still made his hour drive into North Jersey to work. Of course my mom would worry about him.
During the months that Dad was in the hospital and at home recovering, my mom became very close with Dad’s secretary, Claudia. She would check in once in a while to see how things were going. She is a very caring person and has done some nice things for my family. When Dad went back to work she threw a welcome back party for him, totally surprising him and lifting his spirits. Throughout the winter she would text my mom when my dad arrived safely at work, times that he was very tired, and nights that she saw things that concerned her. This kept my mom at ease knowing that Claudia could keep a close eye on Dad.
Throughout the winter there were not as many jobs to be done at my parent’s house, only clearing the driveway after a bad storm or bringing in firewood to keep the house toasty warm. Andrew and my Mom were a huge help to Dad for these jobs, but of course my dad couldn’t just sit back and watch. He would be right out there with them pushing the snow blower up and down the driveway, huffing and puffing and having to take many breaks. He even had a few falls on the slippery driveway making us very nervous.
One fall he had was when he was walking the garbage cans to the end of the driveway on trash day. He slipped on a patch of ice and fell flat on his back, knocking the wind out of himself. He landed on the metal trashcan first and then onto the cold, hard driveway. He said he laid there for a while and caught his breath. After that he was very sore. This wasn’t the only time he fell he told us. He was at work and fell in the parking lot on ice and he had to do the same thing: lie there and catch his breath.
These falls had made us very nervous, because of landing on his back and how fragile his lungs now were. He is also on Coumadin, a blood thinner, and there could be complications because of it. The family doctor did check him out and everything was okay despite the fact he was very sore. Even though things were looking up for Dad, we still had to keep a close eye on him, especially because he never complains of anything.
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Daughter Says to Celebrate Easter, Enjoy Memories
A few months ago, I wrote about the empty chair that would be present at Christmas. This continues every day, but with Easter it will be even more challenging. Every time my family is all together, it makes it increasingly difficult to realize that everyone is there except for Dad, the most exuberant and joyous of us all.
Dad loved get-togethers, always doing his best to prolong them and always asking, “What’s your hurry?” when someone said they were going to head home. He really enjoyed Easter will all the food, candy, and Church services.
For years, Dad would wake up before dawn and head to a sunrise service. He would come home and watch me open my Easter basket when I was little before we would all head off to church to celebrate the real meaning of the holiday. Then, it would be time for dinner – this was one of the highlights of the day for Dad since he loved to eat!
After dinner, we would go home and usually try to spend some time outside, weather permitting. Then it was time to get ready to go to the Easter play. Dad always had a big part in both the Christmas and Easter programs, but he never knew his lines! He would come up with creative ways to help the situation like hiding his script in his shirt sleeve or writing lines on his hand. The best part was when he would sing. I was always so proud of him, but when he sang it usually brought me to tears.
There are special memories made every day, but perhaps the holidays bring out the best of them. Having family and those special to you all together lends itself to sentimental moments, laughter, and stories that will last a lifetime.
As we celebrate Easter, remember that the reason for this season is that Jesus died for each one of us. Thank him for that and hold your loved ones close. From my family to yours, have a blessed Easter!
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Nurse Encourages Mesothelioma Families to Advocate for Their Loved Ones
I have taken care of mesothelioma patients for many years. To be honest, some patient’s stories stay with me more than others. I recently cared for this woman who had a high school degree and had a pretty simple life. I mean she was not consumed like the average American about having material things and constantly wanting more. We will call her Sally. Sally accepted life on life’s terms.
Unfortunately, she was diagnosed with mesothelioma with a routine chest X-ray. She was not symptomatic and was able to work, but she had become one of the many victims of this dreaded disease. As I cared for her she had been in the hospital for one month after being discharged for a few days to rehab. Her surgery had not gone along as planned, and basically her cancer was unresectable, or in other words, her cancer was inoperable. Sally was short of breath and it was difficult for her to do much. She also had a very poor appetite.
Her family loved her very much, but like her, they all just accepted her symptoms as normal. I felt like there was no one person who was advocating for her. We all know how important nutrition is. Her wound was poorly healed, secondary to lack of nutrition and her disease progress. I felt like I needed to speak for Sally and to help her overcome some of these issues. I don’t think she knew the importance of nutrition, and I felt that giving her some basic information could make a difference.
Although she refused a meal tray, I offered her a frappe and encouraged her to drink it. I even held the cup to her lips so it would be easy for her to drink. Sure enough within a few hours she had drank the high calorie frappe. I consulted a nutritionist to get her input as well. I believed that Sally’s wound could heal, but she would need some dressing changes and careful observation. We called the thoracic surgeon so he could give his input. I guess when I think of Sally, I feel like someone has to watch and advocate for her and for all mesothelioma patients.
The definition of advocate is to speak, plead or argue in favor of someone. There are people who are available to be advocates. Advocates can sometimes be a significant other, family or friend. The nurse can be the advocate while a person is in the hospital, but once they leave they need someone to travel the road with them. It is difficult to think of everything someone needs during a battle with mesothelioma, but having someone fighting with the patient and for the patient can help keep the patient’s recovery progressing.
If you don’t have a family member who can advocate for you, consider asking your primary care physician, friend, legal team or your mesothelioma medical team for support or suggestions.
If you have questions about your mesothelioma treatment or any aspect of your mesothelioma care, please contact us.
Coping to Changes After Death of a Loved One to Mesothelioma
When you lose someone you love, everything about life as you know it changes. I never have dealt well with or been fond of change, and this kind rocks me to my core. When Dad passed away, the home that I grew up in that was always so full of love and laughter, became four walls that encased the memory of the man who made that house a home. Dad built the house with hammer and nails, but also built it into a home with his unconditional love for my Mom and me.
The guitar that Dad used to produce beautiful music that brought joy to so many now sits in the corner, just a stationery object. The yellow coffee cup Dad always drank from hides in the back of the cupboard. Never again will it be found left outside, in the garage, or any of the various places that it traveled on its’ adventures with Dad.
These inanimate objects seem to have lost their “personality” – I must say that sometimes, I feel the same way. The biggest change of my life was losing my father. I know that a part of me left with him that day, but a part of him remained here in its place. The part of me that would have been wracked with so much grief that I couldn’t function, was replaced by the part of him who knew that I needed to try to be strong to help the rest of my family. The part of me who would never have felt like it was alright to laugh again was exchanged for his good-natured, laid back spirit, allowing me to smile at our memories.
I won’t say for one second that I have been brave or courageous throughout this experience; that would be a lie. That being said, looking back on these past five months, I know that Dad is with me, helping to guide me through. Other than losing Dad and attempting to somehow adjust to this new way of life, the biggest change has been the one within myself.
I have realized that it is possible to be strong but caring, sad but joyful, and broken but whole at the same time. These conflicting emotions don’t make sense, but it is possible; I’ve lived it. These are the parts of me and my Dad that have melted into one. Emulating his amazing personality and generosity is a tall order, but one that I intend to reach for. Even the most negative change can spark a positive one.
Dad took care of everything, not just his estate but all the memories that he will leave behind.
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